Letters
by Lyria Padfoot
Summary: Lyria thinks of Sirius; Sirius thinks of Lyria. After Sirius goes to Azkaban. Rating for a couple bad words (You don't say 'aw crud' when your fiance is rotting in jail). Please note the genre also, and PLEASE R/R!!
1. Not A Day Goes By

Summary: A sad and slightly sappy fic of Lyria's thoughts on Sirius and Sirius'  
  
thoughts on Lyria a few years after Sirius goes to Azkaban.  
  
Disclaimer: It belongs to J.K.R. Just in case you weren't sure.  
  
A/N: Please please please read some of my other HP fics!! Lyria debuts in  
  
Before They Were Legends. I promise it's not as sappy as this; I've been  
  
told it's rather funny. And, while you're online, look up the songs 'Not A  
  
Day Goes By' by Lone Star and 'Waiting For Me' by Tracy Chapman!!  
  
  
  
Not A Day Goes By  
  
If anyone asks, I always say I'm doing fine—that I've moved on—but the truth is, not a day passes that I don't think of you. Even after all this time, you're still with me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but there it is.  
  
Every day I go about life as usual, but of course I notice the pitying looks—I'm not blind. Poor thing, engaged to him and everything. No one expected that, that's for sure. Such a nice boy, and a lovely girl. They should have a little family of their own by now. And all that time, he was working for You-Know-Who. Such a shame.  
  
What a bloody waste.  
  
I still wear your ring, you know. Of course not. You don't know—you're locked up in Azkaban with the other Death Eaters and murderers.  
  
My God, Sirius, did you really kill all those innocent people? How could you have, without me suspecting a thing?  
  
I can't believe it. I won't believe it.  
  
But damnit, it's hard.  
  
They didn't even give you a trial. Damn Crouch, just had you thrown away like yesterday's trash. I remember that day well. I reported for duty like I did every day—I was still trying to go through the motions as my life fell apart around me. I knew something was wrong when I walked in and Crouch and Alastor Moody were waiting to meet me. The words sickened me. They still do.  
  
"He's not getting a trial. He doesn't deserve a trial."  
  
They're wrong.  
  
I just hope that someday I get the chance to prove your innocence to everyone—perhaps even myself. Maybe then we'll wind up with the nice little family everyone expected us to have when you proposed to me the night of James & Lily's wedding.  
  
It would be wonderful to be in your arms again. I used to think all my journeys would end there. Maybe they will.  
  
But until then, just know that not a day goes by that I don't think of you. 


	2. Wait For Me

Same applies as last time. And again, please check out my other works.  
  
Wait For Me  
  
Do you think of me sometimes?  
  
I remember you. I remember playing pranks on you at school, and how you always said if I spent half that time on my homework I'd be Head Boy. I remember the time I turned your hair green at Quidditch practice, using the charm you taught me, and you chased me around the pitch brandishing your Beater's club. I remember asking you out, down by the lake, trying not to let on that I was terrified. I remember graduation, and when you cut your hair and trained to be an Auror. I remember dancing with you at James and Lily's wedding, and asking you to marry me. You laughed. I imagine I must have looked foolish—the reckless prankster Sirius Black on one knee in front of his girlfriend. But the memories are skewed, twisted. The happy parts are gone. All the memories leave me with is desperation. Misery. Loneliness.  
  
The loneliness is a constant, as much a part of the place as the dark and the filth and the cold of the dementors. They glide past silently, absorbing every happy thought. Some of the prisoners scream, but that's only the new ones. You get used to it after a while, and mostly everyone else just mutters to themselves. Sometimes, if the dementors pause outside the door, I can hardly remember what you looked like.  
  
If it gets too bad, I transform, but then I remember the first time you saw me in dog form. You nicknamed me "Snuffles" after a pet you grew up with and scratched behind my ear until I transformed back and rolled around on the floor in laughter. And then the loneliness hits again.  
  
Lyri, I didn't do it. I wasn't their Secret Keeper, much as I regret it now, and I didn't kill all those Muggles. I wouldn't betray Lily and James, and I wouldn't throw away my life like that. It would be betraying you—and that's something I simply couldn't do.  
  
I think you know that—or maybe I have to tell myself you do because the thought of you thinking of me as a cold-blooded murderer makes me sick. That itself would drive me crazier than Azkaban could.  
  
What did you do when you found out? Have you moved on? You could be married with a few children by now, and I wouldn't know.  
  
I don't know if you remember me. I don't know if you still love me. I know you used to. I only know I'm innocent, and I have to escape.  
  
What was that line, from the song you loved?  
  
I vow to come for you, if you wait for me. 


	3. Reunion

Letters: Reunion  
  
A/N: I've been asked by a few people if this work was finished, and although it was I'm going to add another chapter by way of continuing and getting rid of a vicious rabid plot Animagus. The song in my head this chapter is "You Set Me Free," I'm on a bit of a Michelle Branch kick. Lyrics at the bottom for the curious. Hope you enjoy and that I didn't just ruin this piece!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lyria Strider sat in her new office. Back at Hogwarts, and on the staff. Who would have thought?  
  
The memories were painful.  
  
Every time she turned a corner, Sirius seemed to be there... the empty classroom where they'd kissed for the first time... the spot by the lake where he'd asked her out... the back of the Muggle Studies classroom... Oh, she'd better not even let her mind go there. Fond though *that* memory was, reliving it would be too painful.  
  
Remus Lupin had told her about what happened in the Shrieking Shack two years ago now, and it had eased her soul. Knowing he was innocent was a relief... but now she was left with the fear of what awaited him if he was found.  
  
If it came to turning him to the dementors or his death, she would kill him herself.  
  
There was a slight scratching sound at the door to her office.  
  
Lyria pulled the door open and glanced around. No one was there... just a giant black dog sitting on the ground outside her office.  
  
A giant black dog...  
  
She grabbed it by the scruff of the neck, pulled it into the room, and closed the door behind her. For a moment she stood facing the door, as if she were afraid to turn around, but eventually she did.  
  
The dark hair was longer than it had been, and slightly matted. The figure was entirely too skinny, and the eyes that had been such a beautiful chocolate brown held a haunted look.  
  
Despite all of this, she would have recognized the figure anywhere.  
  
Sirius.  
  
  
  
She was the most beautiful thing he'd seen in a very long time.  
  
She was as delicate as she'd always been, but her hair was shorter than he remembered. The same silver rimmed glasses framed the blue-gray eyes. Of course, she looked older. The mark from where some powerful curse had hit her was still visible. Yet she seemed somehow paler, more tired and weary than she ought to be.  
  
As usual, Sirius, you're causing trouble to the people you care for.  
  
He gazed at her for quite some time before she finally spoke.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
Not exactly the greeting he'd longed for, but certainly more than he deserved...  
  
  
  
She hoped it didn't sound harsh, but the words were spoken now. And she really did have a need to know...  
  
"Oh, catching up with some old friends, planting a few dungbombs, all that sort of thing," he said casually.  
  
Lyria smiled at that. "Some things don't change, do they?"  
  
"No," Sirius replied, looking at her with those dark eyes. "They don't."  
  
For a moment, she wondered if he was trying to melt her or if it was just some curious side effect, caused by his very presence. On impulse, she embraced him. "I missed you," she said simply.  
  
  
  
He rested his chin on top of her head gently, hardly believing that she'd simply accepted him so easily. "I can't believe you."  
  
"Excuse me?" Came the sharp reply.  
  
"You completely accept the fact that I'm on the run! I'm a convicted murderer, and yet everyone's okay with that?" He asked.  
  
"You're a lucky man, Sirius Black," she replied with a smile.  
  
"I know." He said quietly. "Lyria..."  
  
"I love you, too." She paused. "Snuffles."  
  
He laughed, and Lyria was certain that they'd survive despite the rest of the world.  
  
  
  
"You Set Me Free" by Michelle Branch  
  
Can't you see?  
  
There's a feeling that's come over me  
  
Close my eyes  
  
You're the only one that leaves me completely breathless  
  
No need to wonder why  
  
Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny  
  
'Cause I wanted to fly,  
  
so you gave me your wings  
  
And time held its breath so I could see, yeah  
  
And you set me free  
  
There's a will  
  
There's a way  
  
Sometimes words just can't explain  
  
This is real  
  
I'm afraid  
  
I guess this time there's just no hiding, fighting  
  
You make me restless  
  
You're in my heart  
  
The only light that shines  
  
there in the dark  
  
'Cause I wanted to fly,  
  
so you gave me your wings  
  
And time held its breath so I could see, yeah  
  
And you set me free  
  
When I was alone  
  
You came around  
  
When I was down  
  
You pulled me through  
  
And there's nothing that  
  
I wouldn't do for you  
  
'Cause I wanted to fly,  
  
so you gave me your wings  
  
And time held its breath so I could see, yeah  
  
And you set me free 


	4. To Where You Are: The Alternate Ending

A/N: An immensely sad alternate ending to the Letters... What if Harry & Hermione hadn't gone to find Sirius and had continued up to the castle with Ron? Remus tells Lyria that Sirius was innocent, and how does she react? ::cries:: Not sure what exactly in my head made me write this, but grab your tissues. Song in my head is Josh Groban's "To Where You Are," which is beautiful but so sad, and I suggest you download it to listen to it while you read. Lyrics at the bottom.  
  
I wish to warn everyone now, this is NOT typical of my writing. This chapter may even border on an R, at least comparatively.  
  
As usual, Harry Potter's not mine.  
  
- - -  
  
So that's it then.  
  
They dragged you back in a few days ago. You didn't struggle. Of course not, you couldn't struggle.  
  
I have to tell myself that you're dead. You're certainly not alive, not really. The part that was you is gone, and though they can lock away your body, your spirit is free.  
  
But my God, what a way for you to end.  
  
An innocent man, your only crime trying to help a friend and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. After twelve years in prison, dementor food, the empty shell tossed aside to rot.  
  
Forgive me, Sirius, for ever having thought you could have done it.  
  
I've wondered once or twice if you're haunting me. You always seem to be there, so very close, yet out of my reach. Teasing me. You always did like to tease, but you were never so cruel as this. You'd never intentionally cause me pain like this...  
  
Did it hurt you, when it sucked out your soul? They found you down by the lake, mere feet away from the very spot you stood when you asked me to the Christmas Dance back in fifth year. But this time you were alone. You spent the last twelve years alone... you shouldn't have ended alone.  
  
There you are, haunting me again. Just behind me. I can almost feel your breath on the back of my neck.  
  
I wonder how long it's going to take before anyone notices I'm missing.  
  
Yes, Sirius, I've decided to join you. If we couldn't be happy together while we both lived, maybe I can let my spirit free and we can be together now.  
  
I thought you'd like that idea.  
  
Of course I planned it all out, Sirius. You should know by now that I'm pretty thorough when I have a course of action. No, no note. There's no one who really cares about me that won't understand.  
  
I love you too, Sirius. I'll see you soon...  
  
  
  
Daily Prophet Article, the next morning...  
  
Lyria Strider, famed Class 1 Auror, was found dead in her apartment yesterday evening. It appears she was poisoned, though there was no sign of a struggle within the apartment. Ministry experts believe her death to be the work of dark wizards or witches unknown. Condolences are extended to Auror Strider's family.  
  
~*~*~*~ To Where You Are, by Josh Groban ~*~*~*~  
  
Who can say for certain  
  
Maybe you're still here  
  
I feel you all around me  
  
Your memories so clear  
  
Deep in the stillness  
  
I can hear you speak  
  
You're still an inspiration  
  
Can it be  
  
That you are mine  
  
Forever love  
  
And you are watching over me from up above  
  
Fly me up to where you are  
  
Beyond the distant star  
  
I wish upon tonight  
  
To see you smile  
  
If only for awhile to know you're there  
  
A breath away's not far  
  
To where you are  
  
Are you gently sleeping  
  
Here inside my dream  
  
And isn't faith believing  
  
All power can't be seen  
  
As my heart holds you  
  
Just one beat away  
  
I cherish all you gave me everyday  
  
'Cause you are mine  
  
Forever love  
  
Watching me from up above  
  
And I believe  
  
That angels breathe  
  
And that love will live on and never leave  
  
Fly me up  
  
To where you are  
  
Beyond the distant star  
  
I wish upon tonight  
  
To see you smile  
  
If only for awhile  
  
To know you're there  
  
A breath away's not far  
  
To where you are  
  
I know you're there  
  
A breath away's not far  
  
To where you are 


End file.
